A Thoughtful FYI

This morning I listened intently as a local radio station talk show described how a woman in Nevada went ape after her husband told her that she should lose a few pounds. Yes, she was arrested for assault after she literally whipped her beau. The weapon of choice? A metal whisk. You know...the kind you use for beating eggheads; I mean eggs. Now, what she did was very wrong, and I don't believe in violence being an answer to any of life's woes. But I do believe in taking all necessary safety precautions in protecting oneself. So men, I urge you to read this post. It could literally save your life.


Seven Things Women DON’T Want to Hear

1. “You look nice.”

Nice? Gosh, don’t go overboard. Open up Webster’s boys. If you’re going to tell us we look “nice”, why not use a power-packed synonym. Tell us we look enjoyable, pleasant or better yet skillful. Yes, they all mean the same thing as nice. Complimentary, huh? Want your leading lady to melt before your eyes? Make strong focal contact with her and in a seductive, “you take my breath away” voice, try something like “Baby, you look incredible.” Don’t worry. Despite what you have heard, women love to be called baby.

2. “You’re not ready, yet?”

If you dare ask that question, you better be wearing a good set of earplugs. Here’s a little secret. Mentally, most women can be ready in an instant. But when it comes to the physical side of things, and especially our appearance, we sometimes second guess ourselves – spending hours trying to decide what blouse to wear, how to style our hair and comparing shades of lipstick to the color of our shoes. If you find yourself still waiting for her to get ready, try a subtle approach. Let her know that you are ready whenever she is and that you’re going to catch the start of the basketball game on TV while you are waiting. Believe me. A little competition from your favorite sport or a Baywatch rerun will have her out the door before you can find the remote.

3. “That’s not how my mother makes it.”

This is where Lara Croft bursts out from behind the stove and shears your arm off. You see, women never want to be compared to the Queen. We all know how important mom is and that nobody on the planet can shake it in the kitchen like her. But if your gal is thoughtful enough to prepare an intimate dinner for the two of you, the least you can do is put a lid on it. You never know. Her flair in the kitchen just might surprise you. A compliment might even earn you a special spot underneath her apron. Hmmm….

4. “I’m sorry, I forget today was our anniversary. I’ll make it up to you.”

My best advice: Be prepared to show her a doctor’s note that verifies that absent mindness really is an illness. Okay, okay. Men have always been blasted for not being very truthful. Many uphold that nothing justifies lying. I agree that honesty is indeed the best policy. But there are those moments when telling the truth might terminate your entire existence and this is definitely one of them. NEVER, EVER admit to a woman that you forgot something as important as your anniversary – whether it’s been one-week, one-month or one-year that you are celebrating couplehood. You will not be forgiven. Even if we say its okay, somewhere down the road you can be certain that it will be used against you. If time permits, plan something special for later that evening. Pick up a beautiful bouquet of Rafael roses on your way home. Light a candle, break open a bottle of champagne and run a bubble bath for two. Include a handwritten note that tells her how much she means to you. At all costs, try to rectify the situation without admitting you forgot. For the love of god, I beg of you.

5. “You’re wearing that?”

Yes, end of subject.

6. “I can’t. I’m going out with the guys tonight.”

Yes, you are entitled to a guy’s night out. That’s not the problem. The problem is we want to feel like we are at the center of your universe. So, if something really important comes up on guy’s night out, make it a point to be there. There will be another guy’s night out. You might even check in advance to see if she’s planned anything. If not, ask her if she is okay with you going out with the guys on that night. No, you don’t need her permission. And women know that. It just shows your consideration for her.

7. “I don’t like your friends.”

This is a tough one. You see, her friends have always been there - through the thick and the thin. They’ve seen her through the worst of the worst and the best of the best. You may not like her friends, they may not like you. BUT you do have one thing in common. You all care about her. So, try to be civil, even if it means breaking out the duck tape to keep quiet. And if you can’t keep it in anymore, discuss your concerns in a quiet, civil manner with the lady in your life. She may or may not agree, but at least everything will be out in the open.